Verrit – Best Of (So Far)

hell

Jean Paul Sartre once claimed that ‘Hell is other people’. This is only true if those people are associated in any way with the bizarre media, er, thing that is Veritt. The concept behind it is nonsensical. It’s explicitly aimed at Clinton voters and provides ‘veritts’. Veritts are like tweets, but they contain a citation. They are the answer to a problem that doesn’t exist.

The site is essentially comfort tweeting for frustrated fans of the Clinton campaign (who are not a particularly significant force, given the fact that she is currently less popular than the unprecedentedly unpopular head of state who defeated her). Hillary herself makes plenty of appearances, spouting an endless stream of banalities. Joy Ann Reid, who once accused me of being a Khmer-Rouge sleeper agent from Mahdist Transnistria, also makes an appearance. So too do random pieces of patriotic gibberish. In short, it’s a fungal dystopia.

To be honest, Alex Nichols has already done a fairly good job of interrogating the tangled (and sad) career of the levantine shyster behind the site so I don’t really need to give much background, except to present my favourite verrits, which collectively represent an unconscious auto-critique of the Hillary Clinton campaign and everything it stands for.

verritkennedy

This is factually inaccurate. The hottest places in hell are reserved for Kennedys.

verritianeman

Why do they list Time Magazine (not any particular issue of Time magazine, just Time Magazine) as a source and not, say, the widespread, acknowledged consensus of everyone who isn’t directly employed by the Chinese state? Does Daou believe his audience consists entirely of shockingly uninformed and naive Cantonese farmers?

verritceo

The most neoliberal thing ever produced by anyone, brought to you by people who claim that neoliberalism doesn’t exist.

verrutruman

America was built on slaves, high-fructose corn syrup and a desire to keep Spaniards out of Virginia.

verrit1

I could say this every day forever and never be wrong. Why even bother providing a citation for something so fucking banal that nobody would ever dispute its veracity? Also, if Hillary Democrats are the heart and conscience of America then the whole place thoroughly deserves to be nuked.

verrit2

‘Vote Goldwater’ – Also Hillary Clinton

PS: Don’t plagiarise the Style Council

verritmob

Hillary will secure them accommodation by billeting them in Homs.

verichism

Unlike during the first quarter of 2014 when women’s ‘idealism and determination’ were completely unnecessary.

RRE

I was afraid that she would lose the election despite the fact that the opposing candidate was a raging orange id. I was correct. Also, nobody tried to kill her. Nor has anybody ever been rushed to hospital with a severe case of terminal detraction. ee2.JPGYou’re right. This captures perfectly the feeling of Hillary Clinton after having endorsed Veritt.

One of the more amusing features of the site is the fact that much of it consists of high-concept vaguebooking. This has become particularly pronounced as a result of the clusterfuck of derision the site has (justifiably) attracted. More recent tweets are literally just ejaculations of self-pity.

verfuck

To give some context here, Audre Lorde was an outspoken black, lesbian feminist during the 1950s. Verrit are implicitly comparing the experience of being a bitter and confused Hillaryman with that of being Audre Lorde.

This is almost certainly the peak of centrist self-pity, but these eejits never grow weary of out-cretining each other.

Pokemon go fuck yourselves.

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First as Tragedy, Then as Farce, Then as This Bollocks

macron-1

Alternative title: ‘Apres Moi, le gobshite.’

Alternative alternative title: ‘Let them eat novelty socks.’

It’s seems to be a general truth that messianic and charismatic religious movements occur most often in the context of extreme upheaval, displacement and uncertainty. The Native Americans of the post-bellum United States had Wovoka and the Ghost Dance; the nineteenth century Hakkas had Hong Xiuquan and the Taiping Rebellion, and the early twenty-first century neoliberals have Macron and En Marche! (which loosely translates into English as ‘Compliant France’).

As the collapsing centre comes under attack from both left (in the form of Sanders, Corbyn, Melanchon etc.) and right, the collapse in authority and credibility of the centrist orthodoxy has been spectacular, sudden and disorientating. Indeed, the speed of the collapse also seems to have had a traumatising effect on the supporters of the liberal project in general, leading to the strange sort of mass hysteria that finds its logical conclusion in Louise Mensch confidently claiming she is about to have Steve Bannon executed for treason.

After all this, Macron’s victory in the French election must have seemed like a godsend. Here was their hoped-for messiah, someone young, fresh, not associated with the political establishment, but crucially, pro-EU and rabidly committed to market fundamentalism. Indeed, Macron is so committed to the European project that he regularly mugs Greek pensioners in one of the many symbolic acts that he is so fond of. Not only that, but his party managed to score an outright majority in the parliamentary elections, seemingly providing a pretty strong mandate for the messiah.

Colum Kenny was one of those journalists who thought that Macron could offer a model of how to save the sinking neoliberal ship. Indeed, he informs us that Macron’s ‘idealism’ is a worthy model for Irish politics. Tell me more.

At Versailles, Macron appealed to French pride (“fierté”), saying: “The French people demand from us not only efficiency. Efficiency is an instrument! One may be completely efficient in the service of a bad cause. No, it demands that which the philosopher Simone Weil called ‘effectivity’. That is to say the concrete, tangible, visible application of our guiding principles.”

Um, okay. What are these principles exactly?

In a speech that flailed clientelism, corruption, conflicts of interest and cynicism, Macron added that for his government “effectivity” means fidelity to principles, above all to liberty, equality and fraternity.

As a committed supporter of clientelism, corruption, conflicts of interest and cynicism, I am horrified. Also, given that Macron’s program of savaging public sector employment and cutting taxes is set to be most beneficial for the wealthiest ten per cent of households and a disaster for everyone else, his commitment to ‘equality’ at least seems pretty questionable. His weird, authoritarian leadership style does not bode well for liberty and, as far as fraternity goes, having a pint with him would probably be a weird and uncomfortable experience. Actually, Macron’s commitment to the principles of the French revolution doesn’t even seem to extend as far as not having a king.

Irish politicians will treat his words as standard political rhetoric at their peril.

No, they will do so correctly.

What principles guide Ireland today? The import of principles is vague but real.

I’m going to admit I have no idea what this sentence means.

Unsurprisingly, beaten opponents ridiculed Macron, a former highly-paid investment banker at Rothschilds, suggesting that his choice of venue reflected a king-sized ego. They suspect he appeals to principle in order to soften the blow of planned economic changes.

Yes, the only time Colum manages to say something even remotely sensible is when he is mocking the (entirely accurate) opinions of others.

Speaking of king-sized egos, it’s noticeable that liberals who are ready to diagnose Trump (correctly) with pathological narcissism seem far more reluctant to do so in relation to a man who claims his thoughts are too complex for journalists to understand and compared himself to Jupiter. My earlier comparison to Hong Xiuquan is therefore a little unfair, as he only thought he was the brother of Jesus Christ, a comparatively modest claim.

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But Macron has succeeded precisely because he brings more than a centrist technocratic presence to the public stage. He actually inspires, in a peculiar low-key way that captures the unassuming spirit of this age.

Does this age have a particularly unassuming spirit? Can I check somehow? Also, Macron has succeeded primarily by not being Marie Le Pen, something which most people do all the time without even making a big deal out of it.

Reading Kenny, of course, one begins to understand the man’s love of Macron. They are both adept at saying absolutely nothing while talking (or writing) at length, as well as bringing in philosophical and historical references that seem to serve no other purpose than to add an unconvincing intellectual gloss to the warblings of an empty vessel. Indeed, Kenny’s article is replete with quotations and references to Simone Weil which seem to serve no other purpose than to show that Colum Kenny has read Simone Weil. The pretension on display here is nothing short of remarkable.

Macron, a student of philosophy, is keenly aware of history and can appreciate past connections between Ireland and France, from flocks of “wild geese” who landed at the court of the deposed King James II at St Germain to the industries and vineyards that Irish emigrants established across France.

Yes, Macron almost certainly spends a lot, probably most, of his time thinking about exiled Gaelic aristocrats, which will definitely have important policy impacts.

But Macron also understands the selective nature of history, what is and perhaps should be forgotten. His focus is on the future. He grasps the limits of ideology. Public relations and spin do not measure up to historical challenges such as globalisation and climate change.

Colum Kenny is a truly postmodern figure. Within his empty head, sign and signifier zip around randomly until contact is made and they become a column.

If the pride which Macron evoked in his speech at Versailles is more than personal vanity or national chauvinism, then chiming with his clock requires Ireland to prove its own efficacity, to show and not just say that we stand for something more than the reception of agricultural grants or competition with France for London’s nervous financial services.

Okay cool, we’re getting to the part where Colum Kenny tells us what these principles are.

Leo chumming with Emmanuel at a rugby match in the Stade de France (did Hugh Grant star in a rom-com there?) will not cut garlic. To bolster our relationships with the rest of Europe as Brexit bites, we need serious engagement. At least French is the one language both widely and sometimes efficiently taught in our schools.

So we need to speak French? Seriously though, what are these principles?

Unfortunately, at this time of need, Irish citizens looking at our Dáil and Seanad may be inclined to agree with the judgment of Simone Weil on political parties.

Yes, they never come. Though we do conclude with an extra reminder that Colum Kenny has read Simone Weil, probably in the original French. Cause he’s cultured and stuff.

More prominent figures too have become enamoured of Macron. Just a few days ago Bill Emmott, a former editor-in-chief of The Economist, demonstrated that these eejits really haven’t learned anything when he suggested that the solution to Brexit and the annihilation of British neo-liberalism was an insular En Marche! that would (presumably) undo the referendum, stop the Corbyn juggernaut and restore Blairism to its ideological throne.

I swallow my bile, roll my eyes and quote at length:

Even as the UK faces the upheaval of Brexit, nobody is talking about remaking – much less replacing – the established political parties. Many deny that they would even consider such a thing. Former Prime Minister Tony Blair – a pro-European centrist innovator who won three general elections for his Labour Party in the 1990s – took great care in a recent article to stress that he is “not advocating a new Party.”

But Blair, or someone like him, should be doing just that. After all, while the British political system does put formidable barriers in the path of any new party, the chances of success are greater now than at any time in the last 40 years. In a political system still feeling the aftershocks of two major earthquakes – the June 2016 Brexit referendum and, a year later, the humiliating electoral setback of the Conservative Party that spearheaded it – there is a clear opportunity for newcomers.

Already, the Conservatives are locked in an internal battle that they can only try to obscure. In the Labour Party, too, rebellions are erupting. Now is the moment for a new party, styled after French President Emmanuel Macron’s “La République En Marche,” to capitalize on the division, disarray, and distrust in the established parties. Now is the moment for a photogenic young British man or woman to follow in the 39-year-old Macron’s footsteps, making history by casting aside the old guard.

Where to fucking start?

Well let’s go with Bill’s claim that ‘Blair, or someone like him’ should be starting a new party. It is a sign of the centrist media bubble’s impenetrability that they still seem to believe that Tony Blair is popular, despite all evidence to the contrary. Indeed, according to YouGov, Blair is the 2006th least popular of the 2264 public figures whose ratings they track.  To illustrate the public contempt for Blair even more clearly, let’s have a gander at this hilarious graphic:

blair

In other words, Bill Emmott wants either loathed pariah Tony Blair or a similarly self-serving, money-grabbing, dishonest war criminal to found a new party.

There is, however, as Emmott claims, a ‘clear opportunity for newcomers’. You’re right Emmott. He’s called Jeremy Corbyn and people are very fond of his policies. As for the ‘rebellions erupting in the Labour Party’, they are being crushed underfoot due to the fact that neither the LP membership nor the general public have any desire to see Owen Smith or any of the other cappuccino-perplexed quislings in the parliamentary party drag the party back to the right and unelectability.

The nadir of Emmott’s myopia has to be the call for ‘a photogenic young British man or woman to follow in the 39-year-old Macron’s footsteps, making history by casting aside the old guard.’ Here we see the bitter truth. These people have no ideas. None. The best they can do is package the same discredited politics in a young, photogenic guise. Hence the bizarre enthusiasm over the relative youth of figures like Trudeau, Varadkar and Macron, latter-day Dorian Grays, each of whom has a portrait of a maggot-infested Milton Friedman hidden in their attic.

It should come as no surprise then that a man who believes himself to be comparable to the king of the Roman Pantheon is failing to live up to expectations.

In truth, Macron’s victory and En Marche’s election gains did not really represent much in the way of real depth of support. Tellingly, only 16 per cent of the people who voted for Macron picked his political program as their reason for voting him in. Moreover, the elections which swept En Marche! to power saw the lowest turnouts in the history of the republic, suggesting a stunning lack of enthusiasm for the saviour of centrism. Now, with his poll ratings already starting to fall before the ‘reforms’ have even begun, the brittleness of his support is becoming increasingly apparent.

In the end, Hong Xiuquan committed suicide before being exhumed, beheaded and burnt by Qing forces. Wovoka lived until 1932, but the Ghost Dance movement collapsed under brutal military repression. At this stage it’s beginning, hopefully, to look like Macron may end up joining them on the ash-heap of history, albeit with his photogenic head (and the impossibly complex thoughts therein) intact.

 

John Drennan Wrote a Book and Its Amazon Page is Beautiful

Drennan

Among the strange cultists of the Sunday Independent, John Drennan was noteworthy only in the sense of resembling Milos Zeman (in terms of health, physique and intellect) after a two-year long pub-crawl, a truck full of woodbines and a stressful fifth divorce. Within the weirdly insular world of the Sindo, a closed system where everyone who writes for it has convinced themselves that they’re geniuses by (1) constantly saying so and (2) using high circulation figures as a thick, fortified shield against the vagaries of reality, it is entirely possible to never be right about anything and also consider yourself to be the greatest political commentator / restaurant-reviewer / literary critic / fashion correspondent in human history.

Of course, since most of the Sindo commentators see no reason to ever leave the compound, they can pretty much avoid the experience of hubris indefinitely. Not so John Drennan, who ill-avisedly entered the real world, with predictable consequences. This decision also led to the creation of the world’s most amazing Amazon product page.

This is the story of that Amazon product page, a thing of beauty that will, like Milos Zeman, outlive Drennan himself.

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To set the scene, about three years ago the Sunday Independent hive-mind decided that what the country really needed was a new right-wing party, a sort of PDs Mark II. The fact that there was absolutely no evidence for this whatsoever was no problem for the hive-mind, who decided that they would find this constituency of opinion by simply reporting its existence until life imitated art. This was a bold strategy and the hive-mind saw its messiah in the form of Lucinda Creighton, an up-and-coming blueshirt who broke the Fine Gael whip because of her passionate advocacy of bringing the full weight of the carceral state onto the heads of any woman who didn’t want to bring their pregnancy to term. Supported by innumerable Sindo puff-pieces, Creighton was pushed forward as the redeeming angel of the Irish right, and soon began work on a new party. The project attracted the worst people in Ireland, including snake-oil property charlatan Eddie Hobbs, various oddball Falangists and, of course, John Drennan, who became their Director of Communications and Political Strategy, a sort of low-budget Joseph Napolitan.

Unsurprisingly, Renua was a car-crash, pretty much imploding on launch as the more respectable right-wing independent TDs stayed well away, leaving Creighton and a handful of anti-abortion backbenchers whose political and media skills were . . . unsophisticated. Moreover, it was unclear what political space the party was supposed to inhabit, given the overpopulation of the Irish right. Renua failed to attract any significant support, aside from one prominent celebrity. In the end, the project was a complete failure; the Sindo, having spent months hyping it up, ditched Renua almost immediately. Having hoped to run a candidate in at least each Dáil constituency, the party limped into the 2016 general election with just 26 candidates and a set of policies (a three-strike law, a flat-tax) nicked from the US Freedom Caucus that were well to the right of Ireland’s Overton Window. The result was the loss of all their TDs and the gradual abandonment of the party which, despite having no prospect of ever winning a seat anywhere, inexplicably soldiers on.

It was in the heady period between the launch of Renua and the electoral implosion of Renua the that Drennan decided to write a book, which bore the title: The Great Betrayal: How the Government with the Largest Majority in the History of the Irish State Lost its People.

Obviously I didn’t read this book, nor did anyone else including (most likely) Drennan’s editor or immediate family. The timing of its release, just before Drennan left the Sindo to become Renua’s spin-doctor, suggests that it was meant to act as a self-serving attention-drawer to highlight Drennan’s political acumen and vision; a sort of The Audacity of Dopes. This leads us nicely to the Great Gatsby of Amazon Product Pages.

The following fact must be borne in mind at all times throughout examining the product page: John Drennan, as Chief Strategist for Renua, bears a large chunk of the responsibility for the biggest political farce in recent Irish history, a total, unmitigated car crash which should have ended the careers of everyone involved.

The first thing to note is the super-lengthy title which seems to echo high-status works like The Spirit Level or The Better Angels of Our Nature. The difference is that this is a soggy pile of nothing written by a public house patron-botherer. How did the publisher attempt to push this bilge? (I obviously haven’t read it, but I can categorically state that it is awful).

From penalty points to water charges, funding cuts to tax hikes, The Great Betrayal is a cutting assessment of the upheavals, egos and scraps that shaped the 31st Dáil by Ireland’s most sagacious political pundit-turned-political operator

Yes, that’s the blurb. That’s how the book describes John Drennan, Renua’s Chief Spindoctor.

Written with the unique insight of one of the most original observers of Irish politics, The Great Betrayal provides an entertaining and enlightening narrative of a government that, in the eyes of many, betrayed the hopes of the Irish electorate for a democratic revolution, almost immediately after being elected with a thumping majority.

Blurb: Please stop saying nice things about John Drennan, it’s not going to end well for you.

The Great Betrayal is required reading for anyone wondering how it all went wrong and where we might go from here.

It definitely isn’t.

Again, I obviously haven’t read this book. Luckily, at least one other person may have.  So I leave you with the words of the product’s sole (1 star) reviewer, whose eloquence far exceeds my own.

how the hell this book turned up on my kindle its about the I r a and I m welsh I have even been charged for it !!! now its gone from my library anyone else had this problem

Amen brother.